Thoughts on Motherhood

I think motherhood involves all kinds of emotions--happiness, joy, fear, frustration, anger.

Today I registered Tommy for preschool, which shouldn't be a big deal, but it was bittersweet. Tommy is a little bit delayed in both his speech and social skills, so he was accepted into Gilbert School District's preschool program.

At the beginning of the summer I was excited about it, but the closer it gets to school starting, the more I am starting to panic. He's the baby--my last one, and it feels very strange to be sending him off on a little bus to school already. Tom has reminded me many times before that he's no longer a baby. I guess technically he's not, but to a mom, they'll always be your baby.

I remember when Sam started all-day kindergarten four years ago. It was quite a change for her to be in school for seven hours a day, when she had been home with me for the past five years. Initially she was excited, but came home sobbing her eyes out the first day. She cried and cried for the first week or so, and I cried with her. She was my only child at that point, and I hated to see her upset. However, both she and I toughened up over the past years, and now she loves school. She's excited for school to start again and I'm excited for her.

That brings me back to Tommy. He doesn't even know what's coming. He runs around with his Spiderman backpack and talks about the "lellow school bus," but I'm wondering how he'll react when he has to get on it and drive away. I'm afraid it's going to kill me to watch.

I walked into the elementary today feeling kind of glum. However, as we left, Tommy made those feelings fly right out the window. He threw a HUGE fit because he couldn't go down the slide. (For starts, it was 106 degrees outside--also, the playground gates were locked.) So at that point, I decided to buck up and exert some tough love. As I hauled him to the truck I thought to myself, "Buddy, if I have to duct tape you to that school bus, you're going to go and we're both going to like it!"

Time will tell . . .